Coming Back

A new, dear friend asked the other day if I'd considered continuing to write here. It got me thinking, and though this blog was initially a space to share our journey with others, I feel it transitioning now to a different type of place. I'm aware that others may still be checking in and reading, but know that I'm writing for me, and for other babylost mamas who may stumble across this site, and feel free to end your journey with us here, if that feels right for you.

Tonight we're taking a trip back to the NICU. We'll go around midnight, so I'm hopeful we'll miss the exodus of parents leaving with babies in carseats that was so painful during Cayden's two weeks in the hospital. Walking in to see our sick baby, while blissed-out new parents left for home with their healthy babes, knowing that we would not be those parents, would not have that experience. Our first baby would never come home with us.

Walking into the NICU, hospital ID bracelets still circle our wrists, yet we don't really belong there anymore. Except we do, because that space was all that Cayden knew, where he lived his life, and because of that, it is one of the most important places in the world. I can't wait to see his nurse Erin, who will be working, because she knew our baby, she cared for him, she touched his little body. That's not true for very many people, and so she is very important to us. I'll spend the day baking for the amazing nurses who care for so many babies and so many families. And I'll try to keep my tears out of the batter, because no one likes salty cupcakes.

In Memory of Cayden

We are eternally grateful for the incredible care Cayden received from the amazing staff of California Pacific Medical Center's Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. We too, along with Cayden, received such love and support that we would like to designate the NICU as the recipient of any donations made in memory of Cayden. Should you wish to donate, directions follow. Thank you.


Go to http://www.cpmc.org/giving/

Click on “Donate Now”

Complete donor information

Click “continue”

Below the box where the donation amount is entered, select “other” from pull down “Designation” menu and in the “Comments” section below the payment information enter “NICU”

Enter Payment Information

Complete the “In Memory” designation

Complete the Notification section:

Paige Abramson Hirsch and Scott Hirsch
920 Harrison Street, #1
San Francisco, CA 94107

Click on “Verification” and complete process

Thank You

We are leaving San Francisco tomorrow for a week and a half-to regroup and begin our healing process. Before we leave, though, we wanted to express our deepest gratitude and utmost thanks to all of you who opened your hearts and lives to Cayden and walked with us on this journey. While we know it was painful for all, having your support and love made it a bit more bearable than it otherwise would've been. We've had difficulty keeping up with emails, but hope to be in touch once we return. Thank you very, very much!

All our love,
P&S